Your Bob’s worth - Convince or compel
Convince or compel
Society will always have major decisions to be made. Wouldn't it be great to be like the Little House on the Prairie where everyone got together to build the barn for the new settler, or construct the house for the newlyweds?
But that approach seems not to be possible when it comes to the big decisions.
Society has Conversationalists, Industrialists, Politicians and Financiers all of whom may overlap to some degree in their views, but generally adopt the approach to either convince everyone else, or compel everyone else to come into line with the outcomes they prefer.
Convince or compel are legitimate decision-making methods, but they lead to great fractures in society.
People are alienated from each other. They feel disempowered, not listened to, hurt, robbed and let down. Even when terms like 'a public education program', or 'enabling legislation' are used, we interpret them as part of a 'convince or compel' process, and society often reacts very negatively to them. In a strange twist of logic, we seem to demand that we should be convinced when we elect a new government, and when in power governments are expected to use 'compel' as their method of functioning or they are seen as weak. All this creates winners and losers in a society that we want to be harmonious.
In the church the same process is used in our decision-making. Parish councils are usually built around a meeting procedure model which expects members to persuade and if necessary, compel. Little wonder that there are fractures and dissensions in the church which reflect those of society.
Is there another way?
The week we arrived in Roxby Downs the church had purchased a new fridge for the Rectory...a fridge that stubbornly refused to fit into the spot assigned to it. As punishment it was returned to Mitre 10 to be replaced by a more compact sibling. The negotiations happened on a Saturday morning...but one sent from hell.
I walked in to the store and realised that several staff were off work. Only one checkout was working, and there was a constant queue of 20 or so Roxbians holding their prospective purchases.
Suddenly the checkout computer crashed. A hurried changeover revealed that the printer on the other checkout was jammed. The queue kept changing from one computer to the other whenever there were signs of hope. Then the automatic door jammed, isolating new customers from those hoping to leave, and even splitting a family or two.
Into this chaos stepped the new minister wanting to exchange a fridge, and have it delivered today.
What amazed me was that not only was I dealt with courteously and efficiently, but at no time did I see any harshness or anger from staff or customers as they handled the deteriorating situation.
Several customers reflected that it must be hard for the staff who were doing their best. On Monday I spoke to three of the team who work there and they were unanimous in their view that they coped because 'everyone was understanding, and no customers were nasty'.
Perhaps the key to dealing with problems is simple. Try to understand what the other person is thinking and deal with them courteously.
What if the church learned to solve problems in a way which minimises rifts and maximises strong, effective and harmonious decisions? What if the church could model to society how it can be done, and indeed help society to do it when major problems need to be solved?
What if we could stop conforming to the pattern of this world and be transformed by the renewing of our minds so that we can test and approve God's will?
Perhaps our role is not to supply the answers, but to show society a way to collaboratively find the answers.
That's how I see it...for what it's worth...