Conversations from the Coalface
Moth alighting on flower. 'Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.' Matthew 11:28.
Trouble
In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. John 16: 33
I’m angry and confused, Lord.
I’m angry with myself because I just can’t seem to be a better person. I’m angry because I lost my job and had to cash in my super to pay the mortgage.
I’m angry because a Christian friend is dying of cancer and what about those terrible bush fires in Victoria? There are so many bad things happening, not just to me but all around the world. I’m also confused because you seem to just sit there doing nothing about it.
The Bible portrays you as a God who is good, loving and in charge. So why do you let all these bad things happen?
I just don’t get it. So now I’ve ended up feeling angry with you as well.
But what do I do with these thoughts? They just won’t go away.
When the scientists talk about how we got here, Lord, you don’t even get a mention. They tell us that the universe was created from nothing in a big bang billions of years ago. Then, after more billions of years life appeared and evolution produced me.
Sometimes I find this idea easier to square with my experience than with the notion that you are in control of it all.
If I really am alone in a random universe created by an impersonal cosmic accident, then goodness, truth, justice and love are just products of evolution that somehow help to hold everything together, and there aren’t any absolutes out there that reflect the character of a good Creator.
Life is tough in such a universe but maybe that’s just how things are. I have to grin and bear it, get on with life and try not to think about death.
Under that scenario at least I don’t have to come back again as a beetle or something, as some people believe. I also don’t have to struggle with the notion that you are a good God in charge of the mess down here.
But now that I’ve cooled down a bit I find myself thinking about why you left the glories of heaven and came to live among us.
You spoke wonderful words, telling us about a Father God whose very essence is love. But you also immersed yourself in our suffering, experiencing the dirt, violence and evil at first hand and you backed up your descriptions of God by bringing wholeness to many broken people.
Finally, you tasted the world’s full horror when we crucified you.
But then you did something wonderful that no one has ever done before or since; you rose again showing that death is not the end, there is something beyond.
By your death and resurrection you opened up the way of salvation to us.
I can only grasp at the meaning of this, but it fits with the idea that all the bad stuff that happens down here is a temporary symptom of a damaged world; a sort of disease whose eternal power to kill was broken by your passion. The deeds you did when you lived among us were a first glimpse of the final healing that will occur when you return.
This also fits with the experience of one of my friends who was seriously abused as child.
All his life he struggled with the effects of what had happened to him. Finally, he went for healing at a Christian retreat.During a prayer session you gave him a vision. In the vision he saw a large manly hand gently holding the hand of a little boy.
My friend knew that the boy’s hand was his. But the really moving thing about the vision was that the manly hand bore the open wound of a large nail that had been driven through it.
When my friend saw the vision he broke down and wept receiving the healing he had sought.
When he had recovered and had time to reflect, he realised that in some mysterious way, Lord, you had borne the effects of that abuse at huge cost to yourself and redeemed it in a way that was beyond time and my friend’s understanding.
So I think that’s the way it is with all that bad stuff I got worked up about. It’s an answer that does not fully satisfy my mind, but somehow I can take heart and find it in me to trust you and live with it in the knowledge that you have overcome the darkness.
Thank you Lord,Mike Worthing